Surreal moment with Alton Brown

The grande finale for the my experience with Alton Brown in Washington,DC brings me to the most odd moment of the whole thing. I'm talking strange, bizarre just plain surreal. Actually, now that I think about it most of my encounters with AB have been different, yeah let's go with different.

It started off normally. I brought a photograph for Alton to sign this time. It was a picture many people have told me was a nice photo of him. It came from last year's book signing in Marietta. At the meet and greet, I snapped a nice little candid picture of AB. It was pretty good if I do say so myself, nice natural lighting, good solid background and Alton with a hint of a smile. My co-worker D saw it after I got back and told me I had to show it to him the next time I saw him because it was so nice. She told me him might like to use it for something.

I figured I would show AB. And thought he would be great and put a nice inscription on it. Yeah, it was going to be suitable for framing and a great conversation piece.

So on the night of the book signing, I brought an 8x10 print of the picture. I was excited to present the photo to him for signing. I pulled the photo from the folder and began to explain to Alton about it, how people tell me its a nice photo and that I'd like for him to sign it.

He looked at it and the first thing from his mouth -- okay brace for this -- "I look constipated!" I was dumbfounded. I know my face turned red from embarrassment. Nothing came out of my mouth, I looked down at the table.

As he continued to claim the look on his face in the photo spoke to his condition, I began to laugh. Laugh very hard. Then I finally looked up at him as he was in the process of writing something on my photo. While writing on it AB proclaimed aloud, "I am not constipated."

Seriously, he did this. Look.


Oh I wanted a conversation piece.

Think I got it?

I was still in shock a bit afterward. Then AB reached over to me and pulled the cutting board I was holding from my hand and asked if I wanted it signed. I squeaked something out, still in part shock and part laughing my butt off.

So now I have this experience to add to the other bizarre AB meetings. Forgetting my name and AB telling me I need therapy. AB backing away from me and telling me I brought my guns and ammo to the book signing. AB telling my I was poisoning him with Fiestaware.

Yeah, each time has been quite the experience. Not once a normal encounter. And I, of course, relish having these surreal meetings with him. :D

Maybe next time I should bring him another gift.