Seeing stars for Alton Brown

Sometimes I wonder how my mind works. The other day I had a brilliant idea and I have no idea how it came to me, why or what even precipitated it. *Cue drum roll* Alton Brown needs a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

I thought this idea, perhaps my greatest, would be something I could try to do for him, you know, being his #1 fan and all. So I checked the Internet for the procedure.

The first website I found outlined the criteria for getting a star. Three simple things:

1. Have a record of professional achievement within the nominated field.
2. Have worked in the entertainment industry for a minimum of five years.
3. Have made contributions to the community, typically through charitable activities.

I thought great, this is going to so easy. Alton certain meets those requirements and then some. And I can rattle all of that info off quickly, so all I need to do is write up something for the nomination form. I'm pretty good at writing, another easy part. Yeah, I could just see AB's star!

Then it all came crashing down.

Along with the nomination form a $25,000 fee must be included. What? Twenty... twenty-five thousand dollar fee? That's almost my entire yearly salary!

I refrained from cursing until I saw the names of some of the names on the Walk of Fame:

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
Vince McMahon
Shakira
Britney Spears

WTF?

These crappy celebrities have stars and Alton doesn't? This proves, without a doubt, life sucks and isn't fair.

If I had a spare 25k lying around, it would go straight to getting AB a star in a heartbeat.

Maybe I could have a bake sale.

Sorry big guy, this is the best I could do for you. And it isn't even a star for the television industry :(

Oh bother.